There have been other changes in my life. At the end of January, I was ready to start my spring semester of college. I have outgrown my interest in graphic design, but I just wanted to complete my degree in graphic communication. I only have about 30 credits to complete my undergraduate degree.
I had been praying to God about what choices I should make concerning schooling. I was so miserable after the fall semester that I was petrified about the idea of going back. Should I just go back this semester and stick it out? Or should I take a semester off and think this whole graphic design thing through?
I decided not to drop the classes and give it a try. Right before my first class of the semester, I told God that if he didn’t want me to go to school this semester he would have to make it hard for me to sit in the class. I didn’t last ten minutes into my first class. It was as though God was telling me, “You know I said no, and still you want to test me. This is not where you belong.”
I left my class and cried in my school’s stairwell. Even if I was going to be miserable in college, everyone expected me to go and do well. I told him, “If you want me to drop everything, you’ll make everything easy.” And it was the easiest process I ever had in dropping all my classes. Even though I had made a risky decision, I felt so much peace about it.
So these months have been very difficult. My boyfriend and friends of mine are graduating. I have nothing to show for being obedient but health complications, hating what I used to love, and being broke all the time. I have been praying for God’s will and now that I’m closer to it, it’s getting harder. I want to understand the purpose of all of this, but as Steven Furtick says, “He’s more interested in your full obedience than your full understanding.” I have to consciously continue to be obedient in this season.
In the end, this is what I’ve learned so far.
When God Says No, there is a bigger plan for your life. God doesn’t have to give you the answers to all the questions. He just requires you to trust him with the details.
When God Says No, continue to do what is in his revealed will. If you are in his revealed will, his unrevealed will become clearer. Spend time praying, fasting, and serving others in Christ.
When God Says No, you are closer to where God wants you to be. God has been continually confirming and speaking through people about what I will be doing. If I were in school, I probably would not have had the opportunity to listen to God’s voice. He will do anything he can to get your full attention.
Please do not read this and think that to find God’s purpose in your life, you will have to drop out of school. Everyone is different and there is no set formula in understanding what God wants to do in your life. What is required from all of us is to be obedient once God wants us to do what he has placed in our hearts. I hope this helped you.
Wearing our sunglasses indoors cause we wanna! I love my family ♥
The first quote written on my chalkboard wall..very suiting for this season..
With God’s help, we were able to help in the distribution of clothes, the organization of a carnival day, and assist doctors in a free medical clinic event. The trip had its share of good and bad situations but overall it impacted the lives of all who were able to go.
Below are a few snapshots I took of the trip. I wish I took more photos but I recorded more videos for memories. I will try to upload that soon. Also, be on the lookout for the things that impacted me the most during the mission trip.
A picture from the flight back home from Panama. I hate taking planes but God really helped me with my nervousness.
We had this ludicrous idea of getting on top of this cab. The people from the village laughed at us and it almost fell on its side as we rode up a hill.
My friend Jasmine and I was in charge of the girls in the carnival. But they quickly took charge as they found out that we didn’t know soccer.
My friends Janell and Matthew hanging out in a ranch in Ventanas.This little boy Ezekiel is so cute. We fell in love with him.
Jocelyn and Angela hanging out. Angela got especially close to Jocelyn. She is a wonderful girl who is struggling to get by in school. It hurt us to leave her.
Photos from Salinas Beach. The group went on our off day before coming back to New York.A picture of the group before heading back home to NYC. Photo credit to my sister Mariely.
The first signs of Spring
Finding your Identity in Christ and Establishing a Committed Walk as a Christian by Rich Perez (@RichPerez729)
photo by @jdrivera523Rich Perez, Lead Pastor of Christ Crucified Fellowship NYC (http://christcrucifiednyc.org), came by two weeks ago to an Outbreak Youth service and I was so impacted by his message on identity.
Many of you may know Rich Perez as Christian Rapper, Andy Mineo’s lead pastor. He has also been featured on some of Andy’s songs. So I was interested to find out what Rich would be like in person. He was a very humble guy and his words were refreshing to hear.
I personally struggle with identity issues. Identifying myself as a Christian, but not really finding my identity in Christ. Looking to please people and finding my value in others. So I loved this sermon and I pray it ministers to you.
Ephesians 5:1-10, Luke 23:34, Matthew 7:21-23
“If you change by what you are currently doing, that changes, and so will your identity.”
In Ephesians 5, Paul encourages the church on the issue of Identity. Ephesians 5:8-10 • God has given us both identity and position.
• God has given us the ultimate image; His image.
Our identity is shown in everything from our actions to our thoughts • It is what we worship, which is what we become.
Paul describes the actions of those that identify with Christ • Forgive others Ephesians 5:2
• Be imitators of Christ Ephesians 5:1
The only way we will stay committed as Christians is by our identity.
Identity in Christ • No matter how jacked up we are, we are freed from sin.
• We are constantly pursued by God; God loves us.
On the cross Jesus, meant “Father, forgive them, they know not who they are.” Luke 23:34
In Jesus we are:
• A forgiven people
o Your identity as loved is yours forever, and its in Jesus Christ.
We find our identities in our appearance (clothes, “selfies” on Instagram, etc.), wanting to be liked, our friends, and careers.
Sometimes as Christians we find our identities in wisdom (writing inspirational tweets) or succeeding in ministry.
• Matthew 7:21-23 “Their hearts were committed to do things for the Lord and not with the Lord.”
Let us find our identities in Christ; a forgiven people in God image who are tremendously loved.
Ladies, if he has other women auditioning for your role, you are NOT the star of his life. #MoveOn #YouDeserveBetter
John D. Ponder @johnponder
My nails today…pink & gold
Anonymous asked: How has your health conditions been worsening? Prayers for you!
thanks for your prayers..having some complications with my nervous system..
I feel that I often get pigeon holed into one sided friendships. For some people, its as though I become a vital resource for a specific reason or a therapist. And the fact that I am highly sensitive does not help the situation. In the end, I feel like I am not always valued as a friend.
This then turns into a self interrogation. Is there something about me that people aren’t drawn to? Should I change something about myself? Soon enough, depressing thoughts set in. Nobody likes me. Nobody cares about my life at all.
This is the point were I do not let my thoughts go any further. I have to seek the Lord for his wisdom and strength.
It’s normal to long for support during difficult times. God has made us for community and relationships. These past couple of months have been hard for me. My health conditions are worsening, which has affected all aspects of my life. Sometimes I wish I had a godly friendship were I could both encourage and be encouraged.
Though prayer and reading the bible, I feel that God has revealed some things to me concerning this issue.
1) Don’t be resentful of people who don’t necessarily go out of their way for you.
Friends may truly care about you but sometimes situations get in the way. Understand that sometimes relationships change as well. Continue to pray for the people that seem distant for a season. If there are in need of your help, always be a representative of Christ through your actions.
“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31
2) Refocus your energy and efforts to those who need your help.
It may be burdensome to help others during personal trials, but as Christians that’s what we are called to do. There may be a younger person who is going through a hard time at school, or a family member who is going through a difficult time. Instead of harboring bitterness and pain, invest in helping those with needs. Your testimony will be even more valid when you walk by faith and not by sight.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. “2 Corinthians 1:3-4
3) Pray about it.
This action may be listed as last, but it is the most important. You cannot love your neighbor or help others genuinely without going to the source of love. His love fulfills us. His love comfort us. With this His love we are complete. We can effectively help others by being the hands and feet of Christ. He will reveal to us those friendships that are worth the investment. God also shows us those we should appreciate more for their unwavering friendship.
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7
In the end, to those who pray for me, sympathize with my pain, make me laugh until I cry, I value your friendship. I pray that I may not only show you my affection with words but also with prayer and action. I pray to be more appreciative of you. For those who may not be as consistent with me, I will continue to love them as well. I know that no matter who may leave my side, I still have God on my side. And he is always faithful.
Trust is the foundation of great communication.People must trust you before they’ll listen to you.