No New Friends : Advice for Those Feeling Lonely

About a year ago I wrote, “When a Friend becomes a “Friend”. I was frustrated that I was going through my health conditions without much encouragement from those around me. I felt alone.

A year has passed, and with it some friendships have gone too. Many things haven’t changed but what has dramatically changed is my perspective. I’m thankful for God’s answers concerning this area in my life. I want to share some of the things I have learned about friendships so far. If you feel alone, I encourage you to reflect on this post.

1) Examine your thoughts and feelings.

As a Christian, feeling alone is a red flag. I know that I am never alone. God is with me and He loves me. So many times, I have asked God for a friend without recognizing that he has been the ultimate friend. There is nothing I can say to him that he doesn’t already know.

Feeling alone is a lie the enemy wants you to believe. It is a thought that becomes the root to many deadly things. Like weeds that destroy a garden, your destructive thoughts demolish who God created you to be. Insecurity, loneliness and depression are the products of evil thoughts. You cannot ultimately be who God wants you to be if you are suppressed by your thoughts and feelings.

Deuteronomy 31:6

2) Is God your ultimate portion?

When you are in constant communication with God, you are content because he is your portion. You feel satisfied. He is your ultimate counselor and comforter in any situation.

Depending on God first allows you to be a better friend to someone. Depending on people first causes you to rely on someone for all your needs. That is too much of a burden for anyone to bear.

I have put unreasonable expectations on people to be everything I needed at the exact time I needed it. I didn’t understand that humans are not perfect and fail. I have also experienced people who put unfair expectations on me. It’s exhausting to please a needy person. In the end, you want to avoid them.

If you find yourself in despair about your lack of friendships, ask yourself: Is God my ultimate portion? I believe it’s a question that sheds light on a lack of friendships.

3) Evaluate your relationships.

In Steven Furtick’s book “Greater”, he talks about identifying the people you need to possibly put out of your life. The relationships around you can either impact your life for better or worse. You must be intentional in who you allow into your life.

Who in my life leads me to attitudes or actions outside of what God prescribes for me in his word?

Who leaves me drained rather than empowered after a typical conversation?

Who keeps me thinking smaller rather than helping me dream bigger?

These are questions everyone should ask himself or herself. If someone comes to mind, guard your heart concerning this relationship. It may be useful to limit your contact with them.

4) To have a friend you must be a friend.

Nowadays, when the feeling of loneliness comes to the surface, I become proactive. I have a small group of people who I’m blessed to have in my life. This year, I am vowing to show them that I care. I am being intentional in blessing them with no strings attached. I am setting apart time for my loved ones. Friendships are not meant to just be served, but to be a blessing to others. In that action of service, you are blessed as well.

Maybe someone that isn’t necessarily my friend is going through a difficult time. I keep them in my prayers and reach out to them. When you start to focus on being a better servant to others, it changes your perspective on friendship. I’m thinking less selfishly and more godly. When you are fully invested in relationships that matter, you find that there isn’t enough time to spend with that person.

Also, be intentional about joining a healthy church. Commit to volunteering in a ministry you’re passionate about. You will get to know people that are like-minded.

Hope this encouraged someone.

Love you all!

Eleny

Can I Be Real?

So, can I be real on here?

This has been such an emotional week for me. Nothing crazy has happened. Thank God. But I just get in those seasons that I feel like no one understands me but God.

Does anyone feel that way?

Everything emotionally affects me. People think that Satan isn’t real but he is! and if don’t you think he doesn’t have a plan. He does

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

I’ve been having doubts about my life choices in general. Add that to unnecessary emotions of rage and bitterness. Stressed about projects that I really would rather not do. At the same time, you see people succeed while you are still at square one. You can barely make out a congrats because you are that bitter. It’s even been hard to extend grace to people when you don’t want to.

The enemy really tries to take you out in your spiritual boot camp. I can’t give in. I know that I must try harder. I need to pray more, to fast more, to live on the word.

I find myself saying “Lord, I need you”, more than ever.

I even tell myself, foolishly, “My purpose is at the end of the tunnel.”

How horrible is that statement? To know God is our highest calling. He wants all of us to have a deep understanding of who he is.

I’m learning that…

1) You don’t know the struggle behind a person. You may never understand what led a person to the position they are in now. Sometimes, it takes a lot of years of tests for someone to be on the other side. We must not compare our life to others.

2) God doesn’t go by our timing. Its silly to him. Every season has its purpose. Sometimes we need to pass the same exam a number of times before we learn the lesson.

3) Extend grace and mercy to others because it has been given freely to us. I read this yesterday, There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you. (James 2:13)

I read this today,

Then King David went in and sat before the LORD and prayed, “Who am I…that you have brought me this far?” 2 Samuel 7:18

Take time to sit and talk with God.

This is my resolution, because through it all, he has brought me this far.

I’m Back, Sort Of…

Hello everyone,

This blog has been on my mind everyday for months! I love writing here even though no one may read it. To be honest I’ve been going through so much this year! Both good and bad. But I still have no valuable excuse as to why I haven’t been writing about it.

I am trying to see if I should redesign this blog a bit or move to wordpress to be trendy. Lets see what happens. In the meanwhile, I’ll be posting some stuff here.

Updates:

Im feeling better as far as my health. I definitely had a pinched nerve last year and some sinus issues this year. I also had anxiety problems since last year. But thats for another blog. I Thank God for healing.

Im still not currently in school. That’s for another blog post too. I did go back for fall semester and for a second time it didn’t work out, I will talk about my school plans soon. Im still seeking the Lord about this and I know things will all work out.

Nothing else has really changed around me. Im still with my boyfriend (6yrs now), thank God my family is well and I still have the same job.

God has really been rocking my world this year. He turned everything upside down as far as my personal life to show me some valuable lessons. I am definitely a different person than last year because of him. A much better me!

Anyways, I will be covering all these topics in upcoming posts. Hope you check them out!

I love you all,

Eleny

(Please leave me a prayer requests if you need one. I would love to pray for you. As many of you know, what you say to me, stays with me!)

I’m Back, Sort Of..

Hello everyone,

This blog has been on my mind everyday for months! I love writing here even though no one may read it. To be honest I’ve been going through so much this year! Both good and bad. But I still have no valuable excuse as to why I haven’t been writing about it.

I am trying to see if I should redesign this blog a bit or move to wordpress to be trendy. Lets see what happens. In the meanwhile, I’ll be posting some stuff here.

Updates:

Im feeling better as far as my health. I definitely had a pinched nerve last year and some sinus issues this year. I also had anxiety problems since last year. But thats for another blog. I Thank God for healing.

Im still not currently in school. That’s for another blog post too. I did go back for fall semester and for a second time it didn’t work out, I will talk about my school plans soon. Im still seeking the Lord about this and I know things will all work out.

Nothing else has really changed around me. Im still with my boyfriend (6yrs now), thank God my family is well and I still have the same job.

God has really been rocking my world this year. He turned everything upside down as far as my personal life to show me some valuable lessons. I am definitely a different person than last year because of him. A much better me!

Anyways, I will be covering all these topics in upcoming posts. Hope you check them out!

I love you all,

Eleny

(Please leave me a prayer requests if you need one. I would love to pray for you. As many of you know, what you say to me, stays with me!)

It’s never too late to dream. What God has placed inside of you is never out of reach. Dream big!

It’s never too late to dream. What God has placed inside of you is never out of reach. Dream big!

Your Story is Not Over Yet

“With your dreams burning in the background, perhaps you’ve stood on the hillside with fist raised in the air making declarations to God. If you see yourself on the screen, can I encourage you sit down, take a deep breath, stretch, and regroup? The story’s not over yet. Perhaps you’re just at an intermission. As someone once said, we shouldn’t put a period where God put a comma.” - Sharon Jaynes

Read the rest of this devotional here

Photo Credit

Williamsburg Brooklyn is so inspiring. Street art is the best.

Williamsburg Brooklyn is so inspiring. Street art is the best.

As promised, these are a compilation of video clips of a Missions Trip my youth group did this past March in Ecuador. Take a look!